Zero = Perfection

Back then, I always thought that One plus One is One in relationship. Two become one said the not-so-spicy anymore girls from UK. One of a kind personality met another one of a kind personality. Tumbling, free-wheeling in an endless diamond sky then hopefully in a hundred years or so they will complete each other, and live happily ever after in the name of fondness, physical attraction and tonnes of mutual crush.

They said that you have to find the one. The one that done a lot of bad things, mannerless stuff and sumhow you still love them, even more. They said you have to be the one. The one that dare to showed up before shower, no make up, and got accepted and be loved for who you are.

I just went out of a relationship, been trying to be the one and fit my own idea of “the one” with my partner. at the end, it doesn’t really works. actually, didn’t work at all.

The more i try to get close, the road became longer and i realised how i’ve been walking down the road alone this whole time. I was there, and he was nowhere near. He left me part dead and incomplete during the time. When i decided to take another turn, when we decided to stop, i was gasped. Nothing i can hold on to.

It strucked me, how i’ve been relying all of me to his existence. Existence that was none. i hold on to nothing but my own idea of happiness. It’s bad for my self esteem.

Years ago i watched a movie by Kim Ki Duk, Korean Director, “3-Iron (2004)”. In Korean it’s read as Bin-jip means Empty Houses.

The whole idea of the story is relationship between a loner man, who loves to break into empty houses. at one house, he presume to be empty a battered housewife. The movie is notable for the lack of dialogue between two characters. He witnessed how she is abused by her husband. He took her away and their silent relationship began along with their travel from one house to another.

At the end of the movie, both of them stepped into a scale. the number showed “0″. as they’re completed each other. balanced.

the idea of 1+1 suddenly ripped out of my head. Cos i thought it was “1″, it turns out to be right, and look who’s been left 1?